Titans, CLEAN!
by Snorkling
Summary: The Tower is a mess. Raven goes crazy and seizes command over the Titans, forcing everybody to clean. The kitchenfungus is colonising the halls, and that's just the beginning.
1. Raven takes action

**A/N**: Just a crazy idea. If you like it, I'll add more chapters. Read, review, enjoy!

(Btw: I'm Danish. If you see any mistakes, gramma, spelling, so on, feel free to notify me, so I can improve. Thanks a lot!)

And, oh yeah, I don't owe the Teen Titans. No, seriously.

* * *

"AW MAN! _How'd you just_…?!" The half man, half machine stared at the gigantic screen, where a green goblin was bouncing up and down in evil happiness, as his opponent, a mean looking machine, lay beaten on the ground. 

The guy next to the cyborg leapt to his feet in the couch and started performing his own little victory-dance. "SWEET! I TOTALLY just KICKED your metal-butt!"

"Rematch!" Cyborg the Teen Titan bellowed, grasping the game pad and pressing the bottoms furiously in an attempt to start a new game. Beast Boy, whose green skin and strange moves made him look ever so slightly as the goblin on the screen, kept on jumping about in the sofa with a sly grin of victory still plastered on his face. Though Cyborg had yelled at the top his lungs, the green changeling didn't seem to have heard him.

"Oh yeah. I beat you. Uh-huh. I rule," he hummed happily. Still on the couch.

"Uhm… Beast Boy?" A beautiful foreign-looking girl with big, green eyes and silky red hair took the dangerous risk of edging a little closer to the changeling. "I think… perhaps you should stop this dance of victory. This piece of furniture," she friendly padded the sofa, "is, dare I say, dear to as all, and… I do believe you are damaging it."

No doubt about that one. Beast Boy's shoes were mud-stained from a fight earlier, and now, so was the sofa. Big time. Plus, it had been ripped several places, due to the unfriendly treatment, that several of the Titans had given it through time (including shredding it with claws, staining it with oil and blasting bits and pieces of it with bolts of uncontained, dark magic). All in all, the sofa was in a sad state.

But, alas, Beast Boy was still determined to enjoy his victory, probably because he got so few of them. "Aw, c'mon," he said to Starfire, the alien girl, who tried to follow his bouncing head up and down, "we'll just clean it up later…"

"Yes. We. WILL!" a new voice bellowed, and this one, Beast Boy heard. Or one must assume, since his eyes widened in fear, and he tumbled to the floor instantly.

All of the three present Titans turned their heads towards the double-doors in the opposite end of the room, through which the fourth member of the Teen Titans, Raven, had just come, dressed in her usual leotard and cape. Her eyes were glistering with black magic, and her teeth were clenched. Starfire made a gulping sound.

Raven stomped into the room, an unusual image of ravaging anger. As she went past the kitchen, the refrigerator blew up, sending tons of food, some things not suited for eating and a couple of Beast Boy's socks flying across the room and slamming in to the opposite wall with some not-so-pleasant sounds.

Raven did not even look at the mess she had just created. She continued moving towards Cyborg, Beast Boy and Starfire, who gathered together in a pile for protection.

"Eep," Starfire whimpered.

Raven stopped just in front of them all, glaring evilly at them.

"This is going to STOP," she sneered.

"What, Rae?" Cyborg tried to sound confident, but found he would prefer taking both Cinderblock and Plasmus on all by him self, rather than stand up to Raven, when she was in this mood.

"THIS!" Raven yelled, making a gesture with her hand – the three Titans flinched at the sudden movement – at the condition, the room was in.

The kitchen was a mess. Blue fungus was spread everywhere, some of it growling slightly. Something, that might once have been some kind of rug, was torn to pieces and spread across the room. At least two of the windows were more or less shattered, and several of them were stained with glowing alien food. Broken pieces of the loft lay around on the floor, either from the time when Beast Boy and Cyborg bet on whether or not the room was big enough for a T-rex to stomp around in it, or from when Starfire saw a spider and went "righteous fury" on it (she later regretted and forced everybody to participate in "a proper burial" for "the poor creature, taken away in its best age". Her speech was beautiful, really, but somehow the rest of the team didn't seem all that affected by the tragedy).

And the sofa… oh, the sofa. Cyborg began to whimper, when he got a proper look at it. "W-why?" was all he managed to whisper. Beast Boy was looking a bit dumbfounded, and Starfire's eyes were wide. Raven seemed somewhat satisfied by their reactions.

"I'm sure you all understand what must be done now?" she said in a chilly voice, dripping with acid.

"I… suppose we should make a burial?" Starfire meekly suggested, eyeing the sofa with great sorrow in her eyes.

"No more burials!" Beast Boy and Cyborg immediately exclaimed in unison, both remembering the spider incident, while Raven got a look of genuine doom in her eyes. The dining table across the room blew up in a bolt of dark magic and covered the already fungus/loft/food-covered floor with splinters.

"Oh! The death of this dear furniture brings me great sorrow!" Starfire flew to what was left of the table and grabbed the biggest part of it, she could find, hugging it like it was a baby.

Raven breathed deeply a couple of times with eyes closed, and Beast Boy and Cyborg instantly bolted from the clearly unstable goth girl. They had almost reached the double doors leading to the beloved freedom, when the doors glowed black and slammed shut. Beast Boy skidded to a halt. Cyborg rammed into the doors, head first. Screws and bolts flew. The cyborg with the suiting name collapsed on the floor, out cold.

There was a short silence.

"Huh," Beast Boy then said.

Raven marched towards him and on the way ordered, "Starfire! Over here!"

"B-but…" Starfires mouth slammed shut when Raven sent her a menacing look, and the alien quickly obeyed the order, landing besides Beast Boy, who was still staring at Cyborg.

"Good," Raven said in a very commandeering way. "This is what's going to happen." A large cupboard in the kitchen sprung open, and a broom encircled in darkness flew over to Raven, who grabbed it graciously. "Beast Boy," she said, "You'll get rid of the mess on the floor. Gather it in a pile and do something about it."

"Hold on a second!" Beast Boy yelped, waving his arms frantically up and down, "What are you playing at?! Robin's the boss around here! You can't just –"

WHACK! WHACK-WHACK-WHACK!

"AAAAH!"

Raven moved her hand down in a bored fashion, and the broom stopped pounding on Beast Boy. "If I ask you nicely?" Raven growled.

Beast Boy gaped. He then took hold of the broom and scurried away towards the opposite end of the room, as far away from Raven as possible. The girl now turned towards Starfire, who paled an awful lot and tried to blend in with the walls. (Needless to say, she failed. After all, her hair was a vibrant shade of red).

"Starfire, you'll get Cyborg to wake up," Raven commanded. "We need all the help we can get here. You realize the whole tower look like this?!" The alien seemed determined to phase through the wall, and did not answer. Raven decided she liked her better this way. "I'll go find Robin."

"Oh!" At the sound of the brave leader's name, Starfire regained some colour, if only on her cheeks. "Should I not be the one to warn… uhm… tell him?"

Raven pointed towards the man/machine hybrid on the floor. "Cyborg. _Now_."

She disappeared through the doors, only to return five minutes later, this time dragging a baffled and annoyed Boy Wonder by his arm. "Raven! Stop it! What are you…"

The infamous Robin was cut of rather rudely, when Raven shoved him through the doors and into the main room. Robin stumbled a few steps, tripped over Cyborgs still motionless body and landed in Starfires lap – she was kneeling beside Cyborg. The alien's angel-like face immediately turned the same colour as her hair, and Robin scrambled away, his face even redder than Starfire's.

"So, uhm, ahem," he stammered, trying to regain composure as he got to his feet. He then seemed to remember Ravens weird behaviour (and be very relived to get a chance to yell): "_What the heck is going on_?!"

Raven, who had quirked an eyebrow at the lovebirds-scene, crossed her arms, completely untouched by Robins furious voice. "Well, I'll tell you: this place is a mess. Are you even _aware_ that the refrigerator-fungus is colonising the halls now? I refuse to believe I am _the only one_, who has noticed – we are living in _a dump_! When was the last time we cleaned this place up?"

She looked firmly at Robin, her eyebrows raised in expectation, and waited for an answer. Robin seemed a little uncomfortable and tugged at the neckline of his hero-outfit.

"Well, you know, we fight a lot of villains…"

"Not _all_ the time," Raven pointed, her eyes narrowing.

"Eh, no, but then there's… uhm. When we go for pizza?"

"Yes, we do spend a considerate amount of time devouring that particular type of food," Starfire added from the floor in a very Starfire-ish way, and Robin smiled thankfully at her.

Raven, on the other hand, was not so pleased. She scowled and opened her mouth, but was interrupted by Beast Boy, who had dared decreasing the distance between them: "Yeah, and then there's that other stuff, like, let's see… _having fun_?!" he exclaimed aggravated.

Raven literally growled, and Beast Boy's expression suddenly turned alarmed, before he leapt for safety behind Robin, just in case. Actually, the Boy Wonder himself wasn't feeling all the untroubled. Rather, he was becoming more and more jealous of Cyborg, who, for some strange reason, seemed to be taking a nap on the floor, and did not have to deal with the current situation.

"I have three things, I'd like to say," Raven then began, suddenly calm, though there was a shine in her eyes, that none of the conscious Titans liked at all. "1: Beast Boy will not utter any further, unnecessary words to me today, or I will make him swallow the broom." She thought for two seconds and added, "Transverse. 2: Today, I will have the command, and we will clean this place up once and for all."

She gave them all a menacing look, as if challenging them to dare try and defy her. Robin decided to let it pass. It was just for the day, and the Tower really needed to get cleaned up. Yeah, Robin thought satisfied to himself. That was the reason he didn't utter any objections.

"And for the 3rd point…" Raven finished, when no one protested: "Titans! CLEAN!"

* * *

**A/N**: Cheesy, cheesy, CHEESY ending, I know. But hey, Raven is pushed over edge here. Give her a break. 


	2. Sir Cyborg and the noble language

**A/N**: OMG! I have CHAPTERS!

I am forever grateful to the first three people who reviewed!

Again, if there's any grammar mistakes, feel free to tell me, and I'll fix it. (Got "grammar" wrong last time. Life is ironic, is it not?)

I own the kitchen towel (you'll understand). And that's it.

Enjoy!

**

* * *

Chapter 2: Sir Cyborg and the noble language**

Starfire was sitting next to Cyborg, wondering what to do to get him to wake up… he hadn't moved at all, since the fatal accident. "Oh," Starfire mumbled concerned, and poked to a machine-part.

"Friend Cyborg! It is time to do the rising and shining!"

Cyborg did not move.

"Ah…" Starfire grabbed Cyborgs enormous body and shook it back and forth, like he was a doll, and not twice as big as her. "Cyborg! Wake now, please, or I am afraid Raven will do not-pleasant things to me!"

No reaction. Starfire put the hybrid down again and turned towards Beast Boy, who had already given up on the cleaning, and was currently watching a show on TV ("Today in Animal Pals – meet Dixi the lioness and her best friend, Alf, a brave, little Chihuahua!)

"Friend, I would be much grateful for some help. Do you have any ideas as to how I should wake Cyborg?"

"Hang on a second, Star," Beast Boy sniffed, eyeing the screen with tears in his eyes. "… reporting live from the Dashwood Zoo, where the two Animal Pals like to hang out…" "Oh, look, they are the best of friends…"

"Beast Boy! Cyborg can be in severe danger!"

"Coming, coming… piece of cake anyway…" muttered Beast Boy, jumping over the damaged sofa and heading towards Starfire and Cyborg. He placed a hand under his chin and closed one eye, examining Cyborg closely; then he snapped his fingers, pointed out in the blue, and screamed at the top of his lungs, "JEEBERZ! AND ALL-YOU-CAN-EAT-MEAT BUFFAY, FOR _FREE_!!!"

For ten seconds, he kept his stance, pointing wildly in a random direction. Starfire stared at him. Cyborg did nothing whatsoever. On the screen behind them, Dixi was playing football with Alf.

Beast Boy's arm fell to his sides: he stared at Cyborg in utter shock. "Dude!" he whispered, deeply shaken. "This is _bad_!"

"So you understand now the seriousness of this incident?" asked Starfire, eyes big and hand clasped. "Oh, I fear for our fellow team-mate."

"DIXI! NO! BAD LION! PUT ALF DOWN, NOW!"

"What the…?!"

Beast Boy and Starfire both gasped. Raven had just stomped into the room, and she was looking from Cyborgs still motionless body and to the screen, where Dixi was now using Alf as the football. Her eyes began to shine black.

"Beast Boy. Are you watching TV instead of doing your part?" she hissed under her breath.

"W-well I… n-no!" Beast Boy cleared his throat and yelled, "I am helping Starfire waking up Cyborg, and it hurts my feeling that you don't believe me!"

"Would it hurt your feelings if I shoved a broom down your throat?" asked Raven politely.

"Weeell, I'd better finish cleaning up this mess!" Beast Boy grabbed the broom, which had been left on a random spot at the floor, and began wiping the floor with three times the normal speed.

"I need herbal tea," Raven growled.

This was when the next shock ensued. Because Cyborg immediately sat upright and asked, "Did my ears betray me, or did somebody say something about tea?" in the strangest, anti-Cyborg way.

"Friend! You are well, and we do not need to make burial! I am most delighted!" Starfire exclaimed and threw her arms around Cyborgs neck. The man/machine hybrid looked completely flabbergasted, and gently, but firmly removed her arms from around him.

"Dear girl, there is no need for that," he said with the strangest accent and looked at her, like she was some kind of alien. (Truth be told… you know. She was.)

"Oh." Starfire blushed and looked down. "In that case, I am sorry if I offended you."

"Oh, no need for that kind of talk. Consider it long forgiven." Cyborg smiled friendly and padded her on the head. "Well!" He clasped his hands together and shot Raven a charming smile. "I believe you wanted tea?"

Before she could answer, Beast Boy came running – once again abandoning the broom without a second thought. "Duuuude!" he yelled, "What's with the accent?!"

"I beg your pardon?" Cyborg said, frowning.

"Oh yes, now that you say so… you do, in fact, have a different way of speaking, friend Cyborg." Starfire looked suspicious, and continued: "You speak like the villain we know as Mad Mod…"

Beast Boy gasped. Sorta like a girl would do, if she had just broken a nail. "Br-British?! Cyborg, NO! Anything but that, I beg you!"

"Ex_cuse_ me!" Cyborg looked deeply offended. "I can inform you, that British is a very noble language, and not to be looked down upon! And if you will excuse me, you, you… _American brute_, I will go and make some tea for this lovely young lady." He made a small bow in Ravens direction, and marched away with his nose pointing up. Even Raven, in her weird "obey-me-and-clean-or-die"-state understood how serious this was.

"Alright. Back to work." Or not.

"How can you even SAY such a thing?" Beast Boy seemed to be at the brink of breaking into tears. "Cyborg is GONE! And he's been replaced by some British freak who…"

"OH! I can _tell_ you, unpleasant, green "friend", that you are not being very polite right now, and that I have just about had it with you!" The new Cyborg looked very upset, but the picture was more or less ruined by the tiny, light blue teacup, he was holding in his giant hands.

"DUDE, that's exactly what I MEAN!"

Raven rolled her eyes, while Beast Boy leaped over a cupboard and threw himself at Cyborg, screaming "WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO MY FRIEND?!"

"Starfire, I think you should go help Robin, he's at the gym," Raven sighed. "_I'll _take care of this."

"Glorious!" Starfire replied and bolted out the door, while a reporter on screen mumbled something that sounded an awful lot like "accidents do happen. I'm sure Alf had a great life".

* * *

Robin eyed the exercise room with slight amazement. True, it took a great deal of concentration and strength to perform the exercises he liked to do, but he still could not quite grasp, how it could look like they had battled the Hive Five in there, and he hadn't even noticed. 

One should not think that weightlifting devices designed to challenge the strength of a human/robot hybrid and an immensely strong alien girl could break apart or even be moved the slightest… but said hybrid and alien sometimes overdid it. Well, okay, they often overdid it, mainly Cyborg, always trying to prove himself, so he could bug Beast Boy with how much stronger he was. Starfire just sometimes forgot that things that to her weighed about the same as a box of matches, in real life was about as heavy as an orca whale. (But Robin wasn't jealous. Not in the least. Nuh-uh. He just found it really, really annoying that he would probably never be the guy who opened bottles of jam for her because the cap was screwed on to tightly, like any other normal boy with a need to show of.)

Robin finally entered the room, but had no idea what to do now. The place was a mess, just like the main room, and he couldn't help but wonder, why on earth none of them had noticed before, mainly him, the great crime solver, who never missed the important details. Well, he had certainly done this time. Perhaps, he thought with some regret, they could have somehow prevented Raven from going berserk, if they had just realised earlier.

"Robin?"

He turned, and felt a smile creep over his face, as Starfire entered the exercise room. She, too, smiled at him.

"I see you have not yet started the cleaning process?" she noticed, looking around.

"Er, well… no." Robin ruffled his hair to gain time. "I don't… _do_ cleaning all that much. You know," he smiled sheepishly, "villains to fight."

"Oh." She placed the tips of her index fingers towards each other and looked a little worried, while Robin silently scolded himself for excusing his lack of cleaning-abilities. "That is perhaps not so good. I, too, do not clean often… in fact I do not recall having ever done so." She blushed. It looked adorable. "I do not know how it is done."

"Don't worry, Star." Robin smiled at her again and laid his hand reassuringly on her shoulder. "We'll figure it out. It can't be that hard." Though we'll have to live with the knowledge that Raven will probably kill us, if we do anything wrong, a gloomy voice continued in his head.

This voice, however, was abruptly shoved aside, when Starfire looked at him with her shining, emerald-green eyes and beamed.

"No, and it will most likely even be fun, when we are doing it together!" she cheered happily. A warm feeling of bliss spread throughout Robin.

"I'm sure it will," he answered, and the voice from before fought it's way back into his head, now somewhat more optimistic about the whole cleaning-up-deal; This could actually be fun…

* * *

Two floors, one hall and several rooms away, Raven was snapping all over again. Beast Boy and Cyborg – who was insisting upon being called _sir _Cyborg – was rolling around on the floor, random screams of "CYBORG, I KNOW YOU'RE IN THERE, GET YOUR BUTT OUT HERE RIGHT NOW!" and "REMOVE YOUR FILTHY PAWS FROM MY PERSON, YOU HORRIBLE, GREEN BEAST!" echoing throughout the room. Raven was clutching her teacup so hard, it was beginning to shatter. Finally, the teacup suffered death by destructing, and Raven broke the two apart in a very brutal way, that send Beast Boy crashing into a wall, and Cyborg flip-flopping through the room, until with a mighty crash, he landed on the sofa, which finally gave up and with a heavy sigh sank to the floor where Cyborg lay. The hybrid got to his feet. He looked astonished. 

"My lady!" he began sternly, making his way back towards the kitchen area, "It is very, very rude to barge in on a fist fight between a noble man and a vicious fiend…"

He was cut of short by Beast Boy, who screamed and covered his ears. "Stop!" he cried hysterically, "I can't take it anymore! Enough with the accent, you're giving me the creeps!"

Cyborg looked offended as ever, and was about to retort, when a kitchen towel flew over and wrapped itself over his mouth. His eyes widened, and he began to struggle with the cloth, which proved to be most stubborn. It did not let go.

Raven looked at Beast Boy and saw that he had already been pacified: the green changeling lay flat on the ground, sobbing something that sounded like "Saah-bworg, come bwack!"

"Okay, listen up," she said through grinded teeth. "I don't care who you are," she looked at Cyborg, "as long as you've got hands to help clean. And as for you," she turned towards Beast Boy, "I'm really getting tired of making up threats to get you to actually do something other than getting in my way."

Beast Boy, already over his "Saah-bworg"-phase, looked really annoyed. "Whatever happened to the 'eat-the-broom'-threat?" he asked sarcastically. Raven shrugged.

"Alright, I'll just stick with that."

Meanwhile, Cyborg had finally fought the kitchen towel of, and it flew back to the kitchen dejectedly. "My dear lady, I am a noble Englishman!" he objected, as if the mere thought of a broom made his blood boil. "I am not to be in contact with any filth of any sort…unless maybe the filth of a certain green boy… but I will not, and repeat NOT, be threatened into doing something like that. I have my pride!" He blew his chest up and looked mighty determined.

Raven, getting just a bit tired of his attitude, clenched her fists, and her eyes glowed black: several of the kitchen cupboards sprang open, and a handful of things, sorting from forks to pans and to cereal breakfast, came to life, and lead by the returning kitchen towel, they faced Cyborg, ready to attack.

The converted Englishman paled.

"Ahem… I guess it wouldn't hurt to lend a helping hand to those in need," he quipped.

The kitchen towel seemed somewhat disappointed.

* * *

**A/N**: There will be plot. Maybe. 

Your reviews keep me going!


	3. Leave the worm alone

**A/N**: Here ya have it!

1) Any mistakes... well, when you find them, be a darling and tell me:)

2) I DO NOT own them. Okay? DON'T. Don't owe them. Not mine. Nu-uh. Not at all. Not in the least. Teen Titans: NOT the property of Laurapen90. - Glad we straightent that out.

3) I do hope you enjoy! Shiny cookies to you all!

Remember now: not mine. Not.

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**Chapter 3: Leave the worm alone**

For a whole ten minutes, there were quiet in the tower. For a whole ten minutes, cleaning was actually happening.

Robin and Starfire had the exercise room under control. Robin had reluctantly agreed to be the one to dust of, while a humming Starfire got rid of the broken gear, either by discarding it out the window or carrying it down to Cyborgs garage for him to repair. Meanwhile, the new-and-not-improved Cyborg was cleaning the floor in the main room, removing any parts of loft, rug or alien food he could find, often glancing over his shoulder towards Raven, who managed to meditate with one eye open, while holding a fresh cup of tea in her hand. Beast Boy was wiping the floor. He, too, looked at Raven every now and then, but his eyes contained a promise of soon death upon the sorceress. Though, as long has he kept sweeping, she didn't mind. And she would make sure he did.

Cyborg had managed to gather all the bits and pieces of this and that from the floor, and on Ravens order, opened a window and threw it out. When he turned to take the rest of the trash, mainly some funny looking alien food, he noticed something wiggling underneath it. Something that suddenly stuck its head up from the pile and made a friendly, bubbly noise towards him.

"The noble Englishman" screamed and fired up his sonic blaster.

* * *

Robin was trying to get Starfire to stop licking the duster ("Most delightful taste!"), when the sound of a scream quickly followed by an explosion reached their ears, and the floor trembled. 

"Trouble!" Robin shouted, mostly from pure habit, and both he and Starfire shot out the door towards the main room.

"It sounded exactly liked Cyborgs blaster," he mused out loud. Though running full speed, he noticed Starfires widening eyes.

"Oh, yes, I… forgot to tell. Friend Cyborg has awakened!"

Not being fooled by her seemingly cheery voice, he added, "And?"

"And he is not… well. He does not truly seem like the Cyborg we know."

Robin remembered the time, when Beast Boy infected Cyborg with a virus, and Cyborg went nuts and tried to eat everything around him, including Robin, and he shuddered, suddenly not so eager to reach the main room.

Too late.

Robin skidded to a halt, and Starfire stopped flying: in the main room, there was now a big hole in the ground. Raven hang in the air, bent over a teacup, seeming like she was fighting not to let inner demons out to rip somebody's head away from that same somebody's body. Beast Boy was running from his life… could it possibly be that Cyborg was aiming at him?! "Hold still, man! Though you are not worthy of my compassion, I wish not to harm you!" Cyborg roared, and fired shortly after. Beast Boy cried out loud and turned into a turtle, hiding his body inside the shell. The blue and white energy-shot missed him by an inch.

Starfires eyes widened. Cyborg had also missed – though barely – a little wormy thing, that hit the floor, and started wiggling away in panic. Cyborg aimed again and cheered, "Ooh, I will get you this time, insect!" in a very "jolly" tone.

"SILKIE!"

Starfire send five starbolts at Cyborg, quick in a row: the first one made him miss the frightened worm and stumble, the four next send him flying across the room… again. This time, however, he hit the glass and went straight through, a surprised "Oh myyyyy!" escaping his lips.

Beast Boy threw himself the same way as Cyborg, and they heard him roar, "That's my friends body you're trashing!" before he turned into a pterodactyl and dived out of sight.

"This will be an interesting day, yes?" Starfire guessed weakly.

* * *

Not far from there, on shore, a pink haired girl stood frozen to the spot in the middle of the street. A little boy with mechanical spider legs coming out of a strange backpack on his back and a giant, animal/human hybrid stared at her.

"Whatcha staring at, snot brain?!" the boy exclaimed, pointing at a jewellery store across the street. "In case you've forgotten, we have a robbery planned here!"

"I have a better idea…" the girl mumbled and began to smile, when a plan – sort of anyway – began to form in her head.

"Oh yeah?" the big guy, Mammoth, growled. He would have said more, but sadly lacked the intelligence.

"Did you see what I just saw?" Jinx, the pink-haired witch, turned to look at her fellow Hive-mates. "Cyborg just got blasted out the window by some green bolts." They both looked annoyed; the boy, Gizmo, clanked nearer on his freaky spider feet.

"What's the point?!" he demanded.

Jinx decided to ignore how much he was bothering her, in order to let evil glee fill her: a matching smile grew on her face.

"Those starbolts where green, guys. Green like, say, the alien-freak-green?"

"Uhm…" Mammoth mumbled, clearly not getting the point. Jinx rolled her eyes.

"The Titans! Fighting each other!" she yelled, hoping that the high-pitched sound would, by some strange miracle, penetrate the thick skulls of her partners in crime. Gizmo was scratching his chin, slowly beginning to understand where she was going: Mammoth still looked like somebody had just asked him how to spell "palaeontology".

Jinx's eye began to twitch. "Alright, guys, let me put it this way. The alien brat is the most annoyingly sweet girl we've ever had the doubtable pleasure of meeting. So if _she's_ fighting her own friends… it means the Teen Titans are having difficulties _functioning_. And… that means…" She looked at them appealingly.

Gizmo suddenly began dancing on his spider legs.

"Yes! The crud-munching idiots are gonna get it this time!"

Now there was a language Mammoth understood. A broad smile spread across his face.

"Mmmyeah," he said.

* * *

Back in the tower, Raven had once again restored order in a way that made her team-mates cower from fear before her. There had been a brief, but memorable quarrel between Starfire, Beast Boy and "Sir Cyborg" – Starfire yelled at Cyborg for shooting at Silkie, who in return yelled at Beast Boy for scrapping him with his claws, who was bellowing to Starfire that the real Cyborg could only get back, if there was a body for him to be in – but they united in peril (joined shortly after by Robin), when Raven threw on of her fits, four-eyed evil and all. In the end, the four of them had withdrawn to a corner, where they stared at Raven in fear, while she calmly explained, how bad she would feel if she had to rip something away from their bodies.

"Alright then!" Raven threw her hands together. "I suggest we all stay here and clean. Beast Boy, since you have become such great friends with the broom, why don't you sweep?"

"I've been sweeping all day!"

"No. No, you haven't." Ravens eyes narrowed. "You have been AVOIDING sweeping, which is not the same as actually performing the task."

"Aw man…"

"Starfire, you will dust –"

"Bad idea!" Robin quickly interrupted, "She's taken a liking to the duster…"

"I do not recall asking –"

But once again, Raven was cut short, this time by a blinking red light, and female, computerized voice nonchalantly telling them, "Warning: Intruder alert. Intruder alert."

"My dear lord! Somebody has fought their way into our home!" Cyborg whined.

Beast Boy smacked his forehead and drew his hand all the way down his face, while Starfire gasped, Robin withdrew his boo-staff (and, of course, twirled it around a few times to seem intimidating), and Raven clenched her fists.

"Great! Just merry!" she bellowed, extremely un-Ravenly, exactly one second before the slide doors were blown away in a pink flash.


End file.
